Maybe you’ve had one of those
years like I had in 2015. Life hit me so hard, I felt like the wind was knocked
out of my sails. Fortunately, I am coming into the light now, feeling held in
the web of life, supported by Angels and Guides, who encouraged me to tell my
story. I hope it gives you insight into how my work might inspire, uplift, and
support you on your journey into the Light.
The Journey Begins
The dominos began to fall in
November of 2014 when after 19 years of living with Alzheimer's, my Mom was put
on Hospice. I had adjusted to Mom being ill. I was still working on the concept
of Mom being gone. I struggled through the holidays while my best friend,
Susie, dangled in uncertainty as she endured a battery of diagnostics for a
persistent cough and unexplained weight loss.
2015 The Descent into Grief
January 2015 hit hard when
Susie was diagnosed with lung cancer. A healthy, vibrant woman my age, who
lived with an inspirational love of life, was fading fast. While I supported
her, I struggled to believe the unbelievable. My best friend was dying.
Before that sunk in, my dear
friend, Inez, who had just gotten a clean bill of health at her annual
physical, had a massive stroke early one March morning, and never woke up. My
grief multiplied as I realized that yet another loved one was gone without
warning. Inez was the friend I spent holidays with, so you can already see that
the stress of loss was enormous, and it lasted a l l y e a r
l o n g.
Still grieving my loss of Inez,
I was working hard doing Professional Organizing, downsizing and moving a
client in a distant community. I spent my free time supporting Susie,
who was slipping away fast. Susie died peacefully in May.
Keep Calm and Carry On
Fortunately I am good in a
crisis and I have wise, supportive colleagues, an amazing dance partner/best
friend, and a Naturopath/RN/Chinese Medical Doctor who is a healer
extraordinaire. It was my 18th year of professionally practicing Energy Healing
and Holistic Healing Arts, and living them in my daily life. I gratefully
received understanding and support, and proactively added more Self-Care
strategies to my daily routine.
I am gifted with the ability to
help others when I am not at my best, and to feel grateful for the opportunity
to be of service. I am blessed with compassionate clients who are very kind and
have big enough projects to divert my attention from my grief. I carried on and
did what needed to be done. Still the grief and sense of uncertainty were there
as I subconsciously braced myself for the next unexpected blow.
The Biggest Blow
I can’t remember how I made it
through that Summer. What I do remember is that in September, Mom took a turn
for the worst. Within a week, on Summer Solstice, I travelled to Southern CA to
help her die.
The rest of 2015 is a blur of
days of making it from moment to moment, feeling like a balloon without air.
Still I worked, and spent time each day napping and sitting in my cozy chair,
resting and feeling my grief. I learned long ago that the only way out of
intense emotion is through it. So I let the sadness move through me.
The emotion of grief is related
to the respiratory system in Chinese Medicine, so it was no surprise when I got
terrible upper respiratory congestion and an infection triggered by the toxic
outgassing of one of my client’s new carpet. Did I mention that in the Winter I
also started extensive removal and replacement of leaking dental fillings and
crowns? I survived it all. Somehow I made it through the holidays I didn’t
celebrate, and the New Year began.
2016 Enough is Enough NOT
Ever an optimist, I am great at
making lemonade out of lemons, though there was too much loss, happening too
fast, for me to transform it on the spot. Deaths were happening all around me,
a dancing friend, a colleague’s Dad. It took much healing and the seasoning of
time before I would reap the gifts of this journey.
Spontaneous Transformation Technique
I can’t remember why or how,
though I know that when the student is ready, the teacher will come. I seized
an opportunity to become a Certified Spontaneous Transformation Technique
Practitioner. The course work included experiential exercises that were guided
meditations to find and release what is buried deep within. In a true example
of “Healer, heal thyself,” Spontaneous Transformation Technique was helping me
release some of my grief and begin to heal. I did a Practicum, passed my
exam, and began helping my clients release physical pain and emotional trauma.
Even More Big Losses
I was starting to feel a little
lighter, when I was blindsided yet again. Joe, a client of 14 years, whose
home-office I managed, (as the reliable base of my income) had a heart attack
and died in the shower one night. I went to work the next day to find a
coroner’s Do Not Enter notice on the door. Another loss of friendship and
support was so unexpected and so difficult to comprehend.
I tell my clients that all we
really need in this moment is one breath of air. So I lived moment-to- moment,
feeling blessed by my work helping others, and taking every opportunity to
process and heal my grief that was stirred repeatedly.
Fortunately I was strong enough
in September to answer the call to go to Kaiser to give daily Energy healing
sessions to a client with cancer. Four weeks into that physically demanding and
emotionally draining assignment, I took another emotional hit when my mom’s
best friend, Donna, who was like another mother to me, passed unexpectedly.
“I Get Up, I Walk, I Fall Down. Meanwhile I Keep Dancing.”
While I grieved the loss of
Donna, two more friends in my social dancing community died suddenly and
unexpectedly. I wished I could feel numb. Instead, I felt loss, lots and lots
of loss, and so much uncertainty. I spent more time alone doing Self-Care and I
continued to dance, which brings me great joy. I learned that grief is learning
how to live without loved ones in our life. I certainly needed the joy of
dancing if I was to learn how to live without so many loved ones in my life.
Learning to Be The Light
You might remember that 2016
was a divisive election year. The negative vibes across the nation were
palpable to me. Hit with unexpected election results, my clients and colleagues
were filled with upset, anger, and fear. Instinctively I felt crystal clear
that I needed to muster the strength to be the Light for them as they grappled
with the darkness. Again and again, I was the strong one, beaming the Light.
Again I increased my daily
Self-Care strategies and my solitude to keep myself strong. Over time, I
noticed that the more I upped my Self-Care and solitude, the more I heard a
call to teach others how to Be The Light in times of darkness.
Before I had time to develop
the curriculum, a severe pain in my neck came out of nowhere on Thanksgiving.
It was just easing up in December when I had a freak fall and deeply bruised
the bone in my left hip. Life was slowing me down in what seemed like another
year that felt endless.
2017 A Year of Grace and the Next Assignment
I welcomed the New Year
determined to have a fresh start and a year of less loss. I had a plan for
creating the Be The Light Curriculum, and was ready to go. Then when my
computer died over the New Year’s Holiday, it was abundantly clear that this
would be a year of taking what comes with as much grace as possible.
A good dance friend named
Grace, weakened and died. I was inspired when she wrote in her obituary, “I don't
want anyone to say Rest In Peace, as I am looking forward to my next
assignment.” So I learned
that life goes on. We embrace what comes our way and do the best we can with
it.
My “next assignment” came when
I learned about training to become an Angel Intuitive and Angel Card Reader. I became certified and embraced
more deeply feeling the gift of a close connection with the Angels. I chose to be of service by being a
bridge to the Angels and a beacon of love and light in the world. Now I ride the waves of life, calling on the Angels for
support and comfort. I offer my clients support and comfort in their Angel Card
Readings. I look forward to being of service to you.
